#talking to kids

[coffee-mage-sans-caffeine]

I got invited to talk to pre-kindergarteners

So they’re doing a Mr Rogers/Daniel Tiger themed unit on ‘helpers in our community’ and my neighbour asked if I could talk to the kids about my job (I’m a labour and delivery nurse).  Guys, it was the CUTEST TALK OF MY LIFE! I gave them a quick rundown of ‘before babies get born, they live in an organ called the uterus that’s in a person’s belly.  I help babies come out of the uterus and come out into the world where we can hold them and cuddle them.’  I tried to keep it basic, but not assume anyone’s family structure. I really only talked for about five minutes and then the teacher opened the floor to questions.  The kids were shy, so the teacher asked if anyone had a baby at home.  It went something like this:  Teacher: Does anyone have any questions? Kid 1: I HAVE A QUESTION!  I have a baby at home. Teacher: That’s wonderful!  Does anyone else have any questions? Kid 2: OH YEAH?  Well I have TWO babies at home! Teacher: Oh wow, are they twins?  That’s really cool!  Anyone else? Kid 3: Me!  Me!  I have!  I have THREE BABIES!” Friends, we made it to TWELVE BABIES before the teacher decided that the competition of who had the most babies at home was over and sent me on my way.  It was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life!

[lavendervirgos]

Breeding as a concept? Amazing

Mentions of breeding/getting pregnant during dirty talk? Outstanding

Real life pregnancy? No. Horrifying. Never. Hard pass. Worst thing imaginable.

[gumy-shark]

made a beautiful google slides infographic in 60 seconds on why u should Fucking Vote

[kcfights]

Does that say Cancer?

"Mama? Why does that say 'Kristen vs. Cancer?"

Guess who didn't realize that the blog edit tab was open when her 11y.o. popped into the office?

Oops.

We have one kiddo on the spectrum, and another with Big Feelings, so when it came to explaining that I would need surgery, we kept things simple and age appropriate.

Ok.

We told the kids "Mama is having surgery so she can poop."

Fast forward to this week, and we get confirmation about the cancer stage and the news that we are headed to chemo. Both JR (husband) and I felt like were in a better position to bring up the topic of cancer, and were discussing how we should best proceed.

So when 11 asked me about what he read on my computer, it seemed as good a time as any.

Roughly, it went like this:

(Both kids in office with me, JR nearby)

Me: So remember when I went for surgery and the doctor removed part of my colon?

11: So you can poop?

Me: Yes. So I could poop.

11&8: Yeah?

Me: Well it turns out we were super lucky, because guess what? They had to run some tests, and it turns out that the doctor not only took out the bad part, he took out cancer!

11: Yay!

8: Cancer? You have cancer?

Me: Well, sort of. The doctor thinks he got all of it out, but they are going to give me some medicine to make sure it is all gone.

8: Will it come back?

Me: That is why I am going to take this medicine - so it won't come back.

8: But cancer is scary!

Me: It can be. But I'm not worried.

8: Why??

Me: Because they found mine really early, and we know the kind of medicine we need to make it go away.

8: What if you miss a day, and the cancer comes back??

Me: It doesn't work like that, I'll go once every two weeks to the doctor, and sit for a few hours while they give me the medicine in a cool thing called a port.

8: A couple of hours?!?!?!

Me: Yup! I can read, and listen to music, and relax - then come home.

8: But we won't see you!

11: She'll go while we are in school.

Me: Yup! The doctor is going to put a special thing in my chest called a port so I can get the medicine without lots of needles.

8: By your heart?

Me: Other side. We call this kind of medicine chemotherapy. I might be tired for a bit after, but I will be okay. And I know you remember when Ms. S. (neighbor, and extra mom to my kids) had cancer. I will have the same kind of treatment as her, but the actual medicine is different, since my cancer grows slower. I shouldn't even lose my hair!

8: Shouldn't! But what if you do lose your hair?!?

Me: Then we are going shopping for fabulous hats!

8: (activate shopping/fashionista mode!) Did you say.... hats??

Me: Fabulous hats. Do you know what a turban is?

If she didn't before, she does now, and has decided that if I lose my hair we need at least one set of matching turbans... and at this point, we might need them whether I lose my hair or not! Oh, and cat ears. And we need to get our nails done together before all of this kicks off.

And that is how we ended up telling our kids that Mama has cancer, and how I may have unwittingly committed to a shopping trip with my daughter, who thankfully has excellent taste.

[fshoulders]

I used to volunteer at a science museum and once we had a fossil exhibit (FINALLY! said my little paleo-teen self) and my favorite job was, of course, sitting at a table with fossils and reproduction fossils, talking about them to passersby.

We had a repro O. megalodon tooth, and the binder that trained us on our Fossil Facts told us how long the living shark would have been. Because everyone asks. The estimate they had at the time was something like 54 feet. (I know, they say longer now!) Anyway, adults always responded to this number with eyebrows up, and kids…did not absorb this fact. Their mouths stayed open because they were looking at the tooth, but they did not take it in. So I went home and searched on the internet (yes, we had to go home to do that, I’m old.) for the size of a yellow school bus (I’m also American), which seemed to be about 45 feet. So the next time a kid asked how big the shark was, I leaned in and said “It was 54 feet long.” (Parent’s eyebrows go up.) “That’s bigger than your school bus.” Screaming! Carrying on! Grabbing other kids to see the tooth! Highly satisfactory.

Anyway, if you live somewhere where kids go to school or field trips in a big school bus, highly recommend storing this Megalodon fact in your head to amaze the kiddos. It’s not just that it’s a size they can comprehend: it’s that they are automatically imagining themselves inside. 🦈

One of my favourite parts of working with kids is like… Very Gently subverting their idea of gendered topics… Like if a girl goes ‘no, sharks are a boy thing’ and you go “UM ACTUALLY THATS STUPID AND INCORRECT” they get freaked out, but if instead u go “Are you sure? Cause I think sharks are awesome, here’s a scale picture of a Megalodon” it’ll blow their tiny mind and they’ll be shitting themselves over it for days. 100% effective, 10/10 recommend

[divorcetual]

I am actually so serious I think it really messes with a childs creativity and joy to tell them to never make a mary sue OC. Like that unbridaled form of joy where you make a self insert OC who super cool and everyone loves them and they have every superpower in the world SHOULD be something a kid makes, it nourishes their ability to create things for fun and not be stifled by "oh but what if my character is too overpowered and cringey...". whatever

[chloesimaginationthings]

“Cassidy, stop doing the FNAF golden Freddy pose”

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.

It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.

[ditzybat]

just imagining a teeny tiny tim being absolutely devastated about jason’s death, that he manages to get on to dark forums to contact a mercenary for a hit on the joker’s life.

and who happens to be that mercenary? deathstroke.

tim wires money from his (admittedly very high) allowance to slade, who finishes the job within the week — news outlets are going crazy as nobody knows who pulled off such a stunt — bruce is confused, and dick is both grateful, that someone took the bastard who killed his baby brothers life, and angry, because bruce wasn’t the one to do it.

slade however? wants to investigate, someone finally had the gall to order a hit on the joker and he’s a little curious to see who it is.

only come to find a little boy all alone in a big house who spends his nights following around a vigilante in a furry suit.

and, well, slade hasn’t been the best parent, and probably doesn’t know how to deal with an average kid, but who can blame him when he begins to train tim into becoming a mercenary just like him — after all, how else is he gonna defend himself on the streets of gotham when he gallivants around with an expensive camera, a sign basically saying ‘kidnap me!’ strapped to his chest?

so what if the kid becomes robin and uses those skills in the cape? that’s batman’s problem to figure out.

[royaltea000]

“A thousand generations serve to praise…”

[franeridart]

more dragon

[kyri45]

Question: Is Mk trans in this AU?

(By the way, I promise this isn't like some interrogation, like, there's nothing wrong with him NOT being trans in your comic. Just asking is all)

Yes, and OH BOY there’s more (Dadwukong bonding moment)

Shadowpeach Bio Parent AU (PREV / FIRST / NEXT)

Also I hope I haven't offended anyone in anyway, what I mean here's is that he's AFAB, and he looked at the two of them and went "mmh... I mean, they look AMAB but I could be wrong so-" since technically he's biologically a mix of the two. So his question was more of a "why did Nuwa made me AFAB if this is the case." If there's a better way to write the dialouge lemme know.

And with that the “Training Arc 2:Electric Boogaloo” is done! Next part will be coming this Friday, but I’ll post another Q&A post on Wednesday, as well I’ll be drawing the AU live on my Twitch page at 1PM ET!

[artsymeeshee]

Random idea I got this morning thinking about how small little things (mostly about missing important moments of the past) make the boys emotional and sorrowful.

[sreppub]

and so it begins…. welcome to the family, dickie! (sequel to my other drawing where battinson and tim hang out at galas…)

[kiloude-city]

I am severely disappointed by venom 3's lack of "i love you"s. However, Eddie did look longingly at that married vegas couple after talking to Venom in a family van about how they would love to live together forever.